


moment

by sleeponrooftops



Category: Avenged Sevenfold, Criss Angel - Fandom
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-07-17
Updated: 2008-07-31
Packaged: 2017-10-31 07:55:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,841
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/341751
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sleeponrooftops/pseuds/sleeponrooftops
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I slipped into The Aladdin hotel, chocolate eyes fixed on the beautiful raven-haired man…</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Brian’s POV.

_So, I’ve come to complicate the dead; are you with me?_

We were in Las Vegas for some reason, just walking around and having a grand old time.  I could feel Matt’s large hand enveloping mine, but it wasn’t reassuring.  Something didn’t feel right.

 

‘Hey, babe, you okay?’ Matt queried as I swiveled my head and stared over my shoulder.

 

‘Brian, where are you going?’ he demanded before calling for the guys and hurrying after me.

 

I slipped into The Aladdin hotel, chocolate eyes fixed on the beautiful raven-haired man showing a group of children the white birds he’d just made appear out of one of their hats…


	2. Chapter 2

I was at Zack’s house again.  We are in his bed, back to chest, and he’s almost asleep, but I’m still left staring at the wall.

 

‘Hey, Z,’ I murmur, nudging him with my shoulder.

 

‘Mm,’ he grumbles, sighing heavily.

 

‘I can’t do this anymore, Z.’

 

‘So leave him,’ he barely whispers, yawning widely.

 

‘I can’t leave him.  That’ll fuck everything up.’

 

‘Brian, I’m tired.’

 

‘Sorry.’

 

‘Look, let’s talk,’ he says after a few minutes, pulling away and sitting up.

 

I turn onto my back, look up at him, and close my eyes.

 

‘Wanna tell me why you’re here in the first place, exactly?’

 

‘Fucking drunk sex,’ I gripe, running a hand through my hair and staring up at the ceiling.

 

There’s a few seconds pause in which I calm myself before letting it out, ‘He came home, trashed, and was really rough and then kinda just threw me into the bedroom.  And I dunno… I shouldn’t have let him, but Matt’s strong, man.  And I was so fucking tired.  I fell asleep on the couch.’

 

‘I’m sorry, Bri.’

 

‘Whatever.  I should’ve known better.’

 

Zack just shakes his head, lies back down, and holds out his arms.

 

‘It’s never right for him to do that to you.’

 

I just nod and let him hug me…

 

\--

 

_Two months later._

Matt laughs as I roll off him and onto the floor, holding my stomach and giggling uncontrollably.  Zack’s staring at me unbelievably but I’m ignoring him.  This is how we act in public.  To the world, everything is fine.

 

‘Oh, hey, guys, I forgot to mention,’ Matt says as I finally catch my breath and sit back on the couch, curling up against him, ‘We finally got time off to go to Vegas.’

 

The guys let out a cheer and I try to put on a brave front, but, honestly, I’m scared shitless.  Vegas means drinking and gambling, and Vegas means bloody and painful sex, and Vegas means it’s going to start all over again.  Zack catches the fear in my eyes and sends me an apologetic smile, but I just shrug it off and sigh as Matt drapes an arm over my shoulders…

 

\--

 

_Three weeks later._

We’ve been in Las Vegas for about four days, planning to stay for about two and a half weeks.  It’s been okay so far.  I’ve managed to stay out later than Matt so he gets back to the hotel drunk and alone.  He’ll fall asleep on the bed and I’ll just sleep as far away from him on the bed as I can.  We all slept a lot during the day until it started to get boring and we wanted to travel around during the day.

 

So, here we are, walking through the streets around five o’clock, just having the greatest time ever.  I can feel Matt’s large hand enveloping mine, but it isn’t reassuring.  More than normally, something doesn’t feel right.

 

Jimmy’s _attempting_ to tell a joke, but he’s constantly distracted as someone will walk by him and he’ll watch them walk away, whistling loud before going back to his joke.  By the end, we’re laughing more at his short attention span than the ridiculous story.

 

And then something catches my attention.

 

‘Hey, babe, you okay?’ Matt queries as I swivel my head and stare over my shoulder.

 

There’s laughter and clapping seeping out of the front doors and someone’s bowing slightly.

 

‘Brian, where are you going?’ he demands before calling for the guys and hurrying after me as I pull away from his grasp and run in the opposite direction.

 

I slip into The Aladdin hotel, chocolate eyes fixing on the beautiful raven-haired man showing a group of children the white birds he’d just made appear out of one of their hats.

 

‘God willing, Brian,’ Matt hollers as he storms in after me, stops at the sight of the birds, and lets out an exasperated groan.

 

‘You and your fucking magicians,’ he grumbles, walking back out and throwing up his hands.

 

The man turns at the intrusion, his nearly black eyes connecting with mine.

 

‘Excuse me,’ he pardons, not taking his eyes from me and moving away from the group of children starting to disperse since the trick is over.

 

He has chin-length black hair with light blonde highlights all over and as he gets closer, his eyes don’t get any lighter.

 

‘You look a little lost,’ he coos, his voice silky.

 

‘Just a little,’ I answer on instinct, not even thinking of the four guys outside waiting for me.

 

‘Would it be too forward of me to ask you for a drink, then?  Help you find your way back?’

 

‘Not at all.’

 

He motions for me to follow him and not even Matt’s voice yelling for me as the elevator doors shut can distract me…


	3. Chapter 3

The elevator is small anyway, but the fact that there’s a fucking cameraman in there with us and a couple forces the man and I to stand quite close to each other.  He lifts a hand to his throat suddenly, cutting a line across it and the cameraman obliges, shutting it off and lowering it.

 

‘So, you don’t look like the normal Vegas goer,’ he murmurs, watching the numbers fly by.

 

‘I’m here with some friends on vacation.’

 

‘Do you live on the West coast, then?’

 

I swear I can see disappointment flash across his features, but I ignore it and answer, ‘No, in Orange County, California.  We tend to travel over here quite a bit, though.’

 

‘Well, that’s not too far.  On vacation from what?’

 

‘Just work, y’know.  Everyday living.’

 

‘Sounds fun.’

 

He quiets after that, allowing me to just _stare_ at him.  I do it through peripheral vision, but I have the distinct feeling he knows I’m looking at him.  There’s red in his hair, too, but only in random spots on the side.  It’s longer in the front and choppier in the back, a style I’ve seen almost everywhere.  For some reason, as cliché as it sounds, it looks so much better on him.  He’s taller than me and I can just see the muscles under his tight shirt.  He’s got these light jeans on with weird skull and crossbones patches and his symbolic A patch on his thigh while his shirt is green with a skull wearing an Indian headdress.

 

‘Our stop,’ he whispers, motioning for me to go.

 

We step out, he shakes his head at the cameraman, and he leads me down the narrow hallway, hands in his pockets.  He stops me at a plain wooden door, smiles over his shoulder, and lets us in to a fancy suite.

 

‘Make yourself at home,’ he says as we enter the living area, I staring around appreciatively.

 

I sit at the couch as he goes to get drinks, instantly pulling out my phone.

 

_ZV, I’m in a load of shit, right?_

He responds almost instantaneously, _DUDE.  WHAT THE FUCK._

I sigh and rub my face, looking up as he returns with two glasses and a bottle.

 

‘Something wrong?’ he queries, stopping.

 

‘Just my friends.  I kind of ditched them.’

 

‘Oh.’

 

He looks crestfallen, and my heart breaks.  He’s too beautiful to be sad.

 

‘But I’d much rather be here, rest assured,’ I stutter, jumping slightly as my phone starts vibrating again.

 

‘I have to take this.  I’m sorry,’ I murmur, standing up.

 

‘No problem.’

 

He shows me where the bathroom is, so I enter, lock the door, and sigh as I answer.

 

‘Hey.’

 

‘Are you out of your fucking mind?’ Matt screams, and I cringe as I hear Zack yelling at him to calm down.

 

‘Matt, I have to tell you something.’

 

‘This is fucking bullshit!  Who the hell was that guy?’

 

‘Matt, I—’

 

‘I can’t even _believe_ you!’

 

‘Matt!’

 

‘What?’ he snarls, and I sink to the floor, closing my eyes.

 

‘I can’t do this anymore.’

 

‘Do what, you fuck?’

 

‘Do this.  Us.  You’re hurting me.  I can’t do it.’

 

‘What are you talking about?’ His voice has broken to a whisper, and I can tell he’s scared.  The whole car is quiet.

 

‘You come home every night plastered and you hurt me and I can’t live like that anymore.  I was trying to ignore it and trying to lie and say I’d done something wrong, but I have to just face the truth.  He was like… he was like a godsend.’

 

‘Who’s he?’

 

‘The magician that made me disappear.’

 

‘Fucking… you’re _cheating_ on me?’

 

‘I went to have a drink.  I needed to get away from you.  He was my chance and, God, Matt, do you know how fucking hard you punch?  Do you know how much it hurts when you throw someone?  Do you have _any_ idea what it feels like to have a drunk, pissed off, horny man make you fucking _bleed_?  I can’t do this anymore.’

 

‘You’re breaking up with me.’

 

It wasn’t a question.  There was no format of a question.  But he still wanted an answer.

 

‘I’m breaking up with you,’ I whisper, picking at the hem of my jeans.

 

‘Are we just on pause?’

 

‘No.  We’ve stopped.’

 

‘Fuck you.’

 

And the line goes dead.  I can’t help but let the sob escape from me as I bury my head in my arms.

 

‘Can I come in?’ a voice whispers soothingly from outside the door, knuckles rapping just slightly on the door.

 

‘Yeah,’ I mumble, twisting the handle until the lock clicks.

 

‘How much did you hear?’ I ask, laying my head sideways on my knees as he sits next to me.

 

‘Everything.’

 

‘I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to dump this on you.’

 

‘I walked into it.  You looked distraught, and that guy didn’t look too happy when you ran off.  I figured something was up.  C’mon, let’s go have a few drinks and we can talk about stuff.’

 

‘Okay.’

 

He helps me up and I swear my hand is on fire.  I stare at our hands, not interlaced, but together, and there’s this electricity like I’ve never felt.

 

‘So,’ he starts as we move to the couch.

 

‘Whoa,’ I interrupt, watching as our glasses float toward us.

 

‘Couldn’t resist, sorry.  You looked so entranced with the birds.’

 

‘I love animals.  And them being magical was just all the better.’

 

‘You love animals?’

 

We sit on his couch next to each other, and I smile as he calls for his cat, Hammy.

 

‘This is Hammy,’ he introduces, picking up his kitty and showing him off.

 

‘Can I hold him?’

 

‘Of course.’

 

I set my drink on the coffee table and pick Hammy out of his hands, sitting him in my lap and scratching him behind the ears.  He moves his head all around, making the man laugh.  I get a few kisses before I leave him curled up on my lap and reach for my drink again.

 

‘So, what kind of work do you do?’

 

‘I’m in a band,’ I say reluctantly.  I had been wanting to keep that aspect of my life out of our conversation so we could just be two normal guys hanging out.

 

‘Wow, really?  I love music.  What do you play?’

 

‘Guitar and piano.  And some backing vocals,’ I add.

 

‘Awesome!’

 

I smile as his whole face lights up.

 

‘So, like, what’s it like?  Honestly.’

 

‘What’s what like?’

 

‘Playing in front of a live audience.’

 

‘It never gets old.  I love it.’

 

‘Wow.  I would’ve done music, but magic just appealed to me more.’

 

‘You’re a fantastic magician.  I watch the show all the time before shows to get pumped.’

 

And it’s the lamest thing I’ve ever admitted and I can just feel my face heating up, but he quickly brushes off the embarrassment.

 

‘Thanks.  Who do you play for?’

 

‘Avenged Sevenfold.’

 

‘No!  You’re… Brian?’

 

‘Yeah.’

 

‘Well, Brian, it’s very nice to meet you.  I’m Criss… obviously,’ he adds with a smile.

 

There’s no shaking of the hands, but there certainly is an awkward moment that follows.

 

‘Can I break the ice?’ he asks as one of my cubes hits the glass.

 

‘How so?’

 

‘What are you preferences?’

 

I’m slightly taken aback and he notices because he continues, ‘I mean… I was just… yeah.’

 

‘Well, I’m not straight.’

 

‘Cool.  Me either.’

 

‘Really?’

 

I’m honestly shocked.

 

‘Yeah.  People always think I am, but it’s not true.  I’ve just never had a public boyfriend.  Or a girlfriend that wasn’t paid to act.’

 

I can’t help but laugh and he joins in almost instantly.  After that, it’s really easy.  We talk about _everything_ : music, magic, cars, guys, problems, friends, family, pets, experiences, funny stories, accidents, differences, similarities, clothes, and anything else we can think of.  And we’re still talking at one in the morning when the door opens again and his brothers, Costa and JD, walk in, looking tired.

 

‘You owe me forty dollars,’ JD mutters, pushing Costa lightly.

 

‘What’re you betting on now?’

 

‘That you would still be up talking to your friend,’ Costa says, glaring at Criss.

 

‘Your loss.  You shoulda known better.’

 

‘True.  So, aren’t you gonna introduce us?’

 

‘Oh, right.  Costa, JD, this is Brian.  Brian, these are my brothers, Costa and JD.’

 

‘Now, are you going to be up much later?  Like, should we close our doors and kick out the cameramen until… noontime tomorrow?’

 

‘Yeah, that would be best.  We’ll try to be quiet.’

 

‘Cool.  ‘Night, kid.’

 

He bids his brother goodnight before turning back to me, and I laugh as he shakes his head.

 

‘What?’ he teases, pushing me lightly.

 

‘Nothing, nothing,’ I assure before groaning as my phone rings.

 

‘Not your angry boyfriend demanding you back?’

 

‘No, my best friend.  Excuse me.  Yes, Zachary?’

 

‘Oh, fuck you and your Zachary bullshit.  I can take you, you know.  I’ll pummel you into the ground.’

 

‘Zack, you couldn’t get close enough.’

 

‘Yeah, I know.’

 

‘What d’you want?’

 

‘What, no, hey, Zack, how are you?  Hey, Zack, how’s your fucking black eye?  Hey, Zack, how’s that fucking retard that tried to kill us all?  Hey, Zack, what time does check-in close again?  OH YEAH.  Two o’clock.  Hey, Brian, what’s up?’

 

‘Fine.  How’d you get a black eye?’

 

‘Matt punched me.’

 

‘How’s that assface that tried to kill you all?’

 

‘Passed out on JD and Martinis, and we had to stop him from going after the good old beer.’

 

‘Matt doesn’t drink Daniels.’

 

‘Well, he right about did the bottle tonight.’

 

‘Damn him.’

 

‘You forgot one.’

 

‘Check-in closes at two?  Shit, what time is it?’

 

‘One ten.  Where the fuck are you, dude?’

 

‘With… a friend,’ I say slowly, glancing briefly over at Criss.  He’s listening, but playing with Hammy.

 

‘A friend you can crash at their pad?  C’mon, man, help me out here.’

 

‘I’ll talk to you later.  I have to go.’

 

‘Whatever.  Be chill.  Don’t worry, Jimmy’s switching rooms with you so now you’re in with me and I think we’re putting the fucker in the bathtub.’

 

‘Johnny being the fucker?’

 

‘That’s the one.  ‘Kay, I’ll let you get back to whatever you were doing.  Obviously there’s no action or your phone would be still ringing.’

 

‘You wanna stay in Vegas forever?’

 

‘In the ground?’ he shrieks and then hangs up.

 

‘Sorry about that,’ I mutter, stuffing my phone in my pocket.

 

‘You can stay here if you want,’ Criss offers, not looking up from playing with Hammy’s tail and driving the poor cat nuts.

 

‘I don’t wanna impose,’ I mumble, leaning forward as if to get up.

 

‘I want you to stay.’

 

‘Where would I?’

 

‘Well, my bed’s kind of massive.’

 

‘Alright… sure.’

 

‘Sweet.’

 

He looks up with a smile, black eyes sparkling.  I swear, they’re nowhere near being brown.

 

‘C’mon, I’ve got some pants you can wear so we can wash your clothes before tomorrow.  They’ll be long, but they’re just pajamas.’

 

‘Yeah, thanks.’

 

And so we go off to his room, I hoping to God he won’t try anything.  It’s way too early for me to even be thinking about moving on…


	4. Chapter 4

I don’t know how it happened.

 

All I could remember was running away, a fight, lots of chatting and drinking, and then sitting on the most comfortable bed ever.  After that, I only vaguely remembered more endless talking, falling asleep next to a gorgeous man, and now I was walking up to a wall.

 

Then again, my foggy brain could be because I had _just_ woken up.

 

‘Are you awake?’ a soft voice queries and I jump a little as I feel a hand on my shoulder.

 

‘Sorry,’ he quickly mutters, drawing his hand away.

 

I roll over and look at him sadly, holding back a sigh.

 

‘It’s okay.  I’m just… I need to get over him.’

 

‘I respect that,’ Criss says lightly, but he still looks a little unsure.

 

‘What time is it?’ I murmur, turning onto my stomach and pressing my face into the sweet-smelling pillow.

 

‘Eleven thirty in the morning.  You should be getting back, huh?’

 

‘Yeah, probably.’

 

‘If it’s not too forward,’ he pauses as I peek over at him, ‘would you like to join me for lunch?’

 

‘I would love that… but I don’t think I can.’

 

‘I figured.  Okay, well, I think your clothes are dry by now.  I’ll go get them for you.’

 

I just nod and watch him get out of bed, sighing as he shuts the door after him.  What am I doing?  I mean, honestly, this is almost fucked in a sense.

 

‘Nothing?’

 

I look up at JD’s comment and almost feel bad as Criss shakes his head and enters the room again.

 

‘Here you go,’ he says, tossing me my clothes as I sit up.

 

‘Criss, I—’

 

‘Your phone’s ringing,’ he interrupts, sitting on the edge of the bed.

 

I pull my shirt over my head before answering my phone, ‘Hello?’

 

‘You coming back?’

 

‘Yeah, why?’

 

‘We’re leaving early.’

 

‘What?’ I exclaim, dropping my jeans to the floor.

 

‘Matt’s already left.’

 

‘He has?’

 

‘Mm, yeah.  So, we figured rather than piss him off even more, we’ll just follow his lead.’

 

‘Alright.  I’ll be there in about twenty minutes.’

 

‘We’ll pick you up.  I packed all your stuff.’

 

‘Thanks, Z.’

 

He hangs up and I sigh, shaking my head.  I quickly pull on my jeans and Criss hurriedly gets dressed in plain jeans and a black shirt before proceeding to walk me out of the room and to the elevator.  It’s silent, and I feel so fucking bad, but my nerves are shooting through the roof as the numbers get smaller and smaller.

 

‘Criss,’ I hiss as the doors open on the last floor and he starts to press the number for his floor.

 

‘Yeah?’

 

He looks up, eyes sad and dark.

 

‘Can we stay in touch?’

 

‘Yeah, that’d be great,’ he says breathlessly, a small smile infecting his features.

 

He walks out of the elevator and we exchange numbers before he nods to the doors, ‘Want me to wait with you?’

 

‘That’d be amazing, thanks,’ I say, moving to head over.

 

He falls in step beside me, I inhale largely, and then reach for his hand.  He glances down at my hand before smiling and flexing his fingers before curling them tightly.  It’s a warning and I get it, so I only hook my pinky around his.  We wait outside in the bright sunlight, talking animatedly.  When Zack finally pulls up, we part with a wave, offer sad smiles, and I climb in the passenger seat, watching him as Zack drives away.  I swear he blows a kiss…

 

\--

 

_Two weeks later._

It got _insane_.  Matt and I finally made up and he offered his deepest apologies.  I accepted every one and we were best friends again before long.  He had a girlfriend now, confirming that he’d only ever been gay for me.  I remember the girl from high school, Valary her name is, and she’s quite friendly.  We call her Val even though it bugs her.

 

Once we were back in the studio, the guys started noticing the changes.  Normally, in studio, I’d either just forget my phone at home or it’d be off.  It was on vibrate now and I answered it everytime I had a chance.  Criss and I continuously texted while I was in studio and we talked for hours at night.  Sometimes one of us fell asleep and our cell phone bills ran high.  The guys made fun of me a lot for having a little boy toy to always fall back on, and it bugged me that they thought Matt was the only one I’d ever fall in love with.  And I’m not even sure I ever was in love with Matt.  For a good while, I probably thought I was, but not for the most part.

 

I found out a lot about Criss over those two weeks we were apart.  For one, he was forty.  That set me back a few steps considering he was a good fourteen years older than me, but then I started remembering how he acted and how he looked and those backward steps disappeared.  He was just like me.  He liked to text more than call, but he’d confided in me that he loved talking to me on the phone verbally.  He loved hearing stories about my two kittens, Gabriel and Jeremiah, and never ceased to laugh when I had a story about Zack’s little dog, Ichabod, to tell.

 

He found out a lot about me, too.  He learned endless lists of my likes and dislikes and would sometimes beat me to a thought because he knew.  He discovered that I was better on the electric than the acoustic, but he also demanded that I play more acoustic so that I was amazing when we saw each other next time.  And I swear he took notes when we discussed romance tactics.  His favorite stories were from my high school years, though.

 

It wasn’t until a day after he’d publically come out that he called me with the best news I’d heard in a while,

 

‘I’m going to the OC!’ he exclaims into the phone as I’m smoking outside.

 

‘No way!’ I screech, almost dropping my cigarette.

 

‘Yeah, are you busy in three nights?’

 

‘I don’t think so.  What’d you have in mind?’

 

‘I want to take you to dinner.  No cameras; just me and you,’ he assures, and I shake my head as he remembers I hate being filmed when it’s personal.

 

‘Alright.  I can’t wait to see you,’ I admit, and I almost laugh at how shy I sound.

 

‘Yeah, me too.  I’ve missed you.’

 

‘BRIAN!’ Zack shrieks like my mum from inside.

 

‘Oh, I have to go.  I think Zack and I are supposed to be recording something.  Sorry,’ I rush, cursing the bad timing.

 

‘It’s okay.  I think my break’s over anyway.  Well, I’ll see you in three days.’

 

‘’Kay, bye.’

 

We always end awkwardly like this, and I think both of us don’t really know how to end it.  We’re not in a relationship, but we’re not exactly what you’d call “friends” either.  We’re managing, but I can tell it’s starting to get weird…

 

\--

 

‘I can’t believe it.’

 

‘You’ll do fine,’ Zack assures, giving my ass a slap as I walk by him, still pacing.

 

‘This is my first date in four years.’

 

‘You’ll do fine,’ he repeats, sitting down on my bed as I continue pacing.

 

‘But—’

 

‘Not buts.  You look very handsome, there’s going to be no cameras, and you know you guys have already hit it off.  I’ve heard you talk to him before.  You sound like you’re back in high school again.’

 

‘Really?’

 

‘C’mon, Bri,’ he coos, holding out his arms.

 

I sit next to him and let him hug me tight, sighing as he releases me and puts his hands on my shoulders, ‘You’re making me feel like a girl.  I’m never going to forgive you for that.  Now, stop pacing, go brush your teeth, don’t play with your hair, and meet me in the living room in five minutes, okay?’

 

‘Yeah.’

 

I go off to follow his orders and when I head into the living room, Criss is standing there dressed in plain jeans, a smooth black and silver pinstripe button-up with the cuffs rolled up and the top three buttons undone, and a trucker hat.  I’m in plain jeans also, my white shirt with the red cross and black skulls on it, that weird green jacket, and my red fedora.  I decided to go with the ring tonight, so it shines in the artificial light and I smile as Criss’s eyes travel to it, eyebrow arching.

 

There were a lot of discoveries that night.  I found out I hate all the necklaces he wears because he isn’t wearing them tonight and he just looks so much more handsome.  I love his rings and everytime he uses his hands, it’s so cute.  He found out about my tattoos and my nose ring, even going so far as to compliment them and ask about different ones.  He also found out about my recently cut hair and I found out that he loves mine but is growing out his.

 

It was a sweet first date.  And that’s all it was.  We part back at my house with a hug and he gives me a small, ghosting kiss on my cheek, but that’s it.  And I’m still on top of the world when I walk back in and Zack stands up, clapping.  Jimmy, Johnny, and Matt have joined him.

 

‘So, how’d it go?’ Zack asks as I return from the kitchen with a Diet Coke and take my place next to him on the couch.

 

‘Fantastic,’ I breathe, still grinning.

 

‘You look like an idiot,’ he comments, pushing me lightly as I crack the can.

 

‘Yeah…’ I trail off, and they all laugh.  Except, well, Matt glares a little, but it’s understandable.  Regardless, nothing can break my happiness…

 

\--

 

It’s been four days since I’ve seen Criss, but we’ve been talking a lot, saying we want to get together.  He knows where Big Blue is and has promised to come visit me while I’m working after one of the shootings for his show.

 

Zack, Matt, and I are outside playing cards while Johnny’s doing bass tracks and Jimmy’s banging away at the drums, writing _something_.  I’ve got the usual garb on: ripped black jeans, white shirt with the red skull, black drips, and GATES across the chest, and my black bandana and grey and white DVS Shoes hat.

 

‘Rummy!’ Zack suddenly yells, tapping the back of his fingers on the table.

 

He collects the three three’s as Matt groans and calls him names under his breath.  I look through my hand before scooping up the pile and proceeding to get rid of half my cards on the board, leaving me with only four cards in my hand to my previous six and with at least one hundred points on the board.  As I discard, Matt and Zack glare heartily at me, and I just laugh and shrug, putting my hand face down on the table as my phone starts ringing.

 

‘Hey, Criss, what’s up?’ I answer as I tuck the phone between my chin and shoulder and lift my hand again.

 

‘I’m nearby; are you busy?’

 

‘Not at all!  Hold on, Rummy!  Zack, get your fucking hand off the cards!’

 

I slap Zack’s hand away, steal the two, three, and four of hearts he’d been trying to sneak away and smile as Criss laughs.

 

‘Okay, well, I’m about three seconds away.  Are you outside?’

 

‘Yeah.  We’re playing cards.  I’ll see you in a bit.’

 

‘Bye, Bri.’

 

I click my phone shut and tuck it away in my pocket as Matt picks up, chuckles, dishes out his last three cards and then goes out.

 

‘Fuckhead,’ Zack gripes, showing off his two Aces and King and Queen of spades.

 

‘Ooh,’ we instigate together before Matt counts up all our points.

 

‘Rummy, huh?’ Criss murmurs as he stops by me, putting a hand fondly to the back of my neck.

 

‘Zack’s favorite,’ I say, smiling up at him.

 

He returns the smile, but we both stop as Zack starts coughing.

 

‘Fuck you,’ I hiss, pushing the edge of the chair and sending him tumbling over.

 

As he starts cussing obnoxiously, I introduce everyone, ‘Criss, this is Matt and Zack’s the one screaming on the ground.  Z, M., this is Criss.’

 

‘Fucking asshole,’ Zack gripes as he stumbles back up and Costa and JD get out of the car, heading over.

 

Matt deals us in and I motion to a few chairs lying around before looking at my hand.  Criss pulls a chair up next to me while Costa and JD sit in between Zack and Matt since they’ve long since refused to sit next to each other while playing cards.  I quickly introduce his brothers before the game commences and there’s lots of me slapping Zack’s hand, Zack throwing around random swear words, Matt making faces at Zack, me getting distracted by Criss, and Matt and I bickering about a particular rule.

 

‘What are you playing to, Rummy 1000?’ Jimmy huffs as he walks out.

 

‘No, 500, but Zack’s making it take _forever_ ,’ Matt and I finish together, laughing afterward.

 

‘Incoming,’ Jimmy mutters before stepping aside.  A drumstick _flies_ out of Big Blue followed by a shrieking Johnny.

 

‘What’d you do?’

 

‘Fuck with his bass.’

 

‘Assface,’ Johnny grumbles as he walks out and punches Jimmy.  As predicted, there’s a violent skirmish and they’re left rolling around on the ground, Jimmy ultimately getting the little twerp in a headlock.

 

After we finally finish our game, Matt disperses to go do some vocals, Johnny goes back to his bass, and Zack and Jimmy decide we honestly don’t have enough food in the studio, so they go off to get some.

 

And I never realized how weird things can be when you’re with your almost-boyfriend and his two brothers.

 

‘Want us to come pick you up later?’ JD questions, already getting up.

 

‘Yeah, sure,’ Criss says, waving them away.

 

‘Hey,’ I say, nudging him lightly.

 

‘Yeah?’

 

‘Wanna go meet Gabe and Jere?’

 

‘Oh, yeah!  I almost forgot about them!  Let’s go,’ he says excitedly, already jumping to his feet.

 

‘Alright, lemme just tell Matt I’m leaving.’

 

‘Hey,’ he says, touching my arm before I can leave.

 

‘Mhm?’

 

‘Is that… y’know… the Matt that hurt you?’

 

‘We’re friends again,’ I say, shrugging nonchalantly.

 

He looks just a little bit unsure…


	5. Chapter 5

Going back to my house was awkward.  He left early, and a week after that, we were only approaching our second date.

 

‘Fuck, I need help,’ I hiss as I hurriedly plop down next to Zack.

 

‘Well, I know of a psychiatrist—’

 

‘Zack!’ I cut him off, glancing nervously at my phone as it starts ringing.

 

‘Aren’t you going to answer it?’ he queries, lifting an eyebrow when I shake my head.

 

‘Alright, Bri, what’s going on?  Are you suddenly losing interest in this guy?’ he continues, giving me a skeptical glance as I toss my phone onto the coffee table and pull my knees to my chest.

 

‘No,’ I mutter.

 

‘Dude, your phone’s ringing,’ Matt grumbles as he sits on my other side.

 

‘Okay, then, what do you want?’ Zack goes on like he wasn’t interrupted.

 

‘He wants to go out again.’

 

‘And?’

 

‘I dunno, man!’ I exclaim, getting up and beginning my pacing.

 

‘Look, if you’re freaking out because this is happening like it’s normally supposed to, just chill.  Okay?  Brian, you said the first date went over fantastically.  You guys talk more than two girls.  _Obviously_ , you’re hitting it off.  Go on a second date.  See what happens.’

 

‘What is _supposed_ to happen?’

 

‘Are you worrying about if he’s going to kiss you?’ Zack laughs.

 

‘Shut up.  And yes.’

 

‘Well, you said last time was a hug and on the cheek.  It could be that or he could try to kiss you.  And, my God, Brian, don’t you dare pull away.’

 

‘Will you come over again?’

 

‘Sure, but I’m not gonna sit around before every date.’

 

‘Okay, thanks.  I gotta go call him back.’

 

I pick up my phone and start off, but stop around the corner when I hear Matt sigh.

 

‘I’m sorry, man,’ Zack says, and I can just imagine him shrugging before going back to his laptop.

 

‘I hate this Criss guy.  He’s gonna hurt him.’

 

‘More than you did?’

 

‘Fuck you, Zack.’

 

I even flinch at the insult.  That was _low_.

 

‘You know I care about him, Matt.  He’s my best friend and he’s ever let me down.  He’s gotten me out of the shittiest of times, and I’m not going to stand by and watch you be pissed just because you want him back.’

 

Matt doesn’t say another word and I quickly hurry to sit at the table in the kitchen and dial Criss’s number.

 

‘Hello?’

 

‘Umm, hi,’ I stutter, feeling a little nervous at the unfamiliar man’s voice, ‘Is Criss there?’

 

‘This Brian?’

 

‘Yeah.’

 

‘He just went back to shooting.  Want me to have him call you back?’

 

‘Sure.’

 

I hang up, take a shaky breath, and go to stand up only to jump back as Matt appears right behind me.

 

‘ _Dude_ ,’ I hiss, slipping past him and going to get a drink.

 

‘You look pale.  Something wrong?’

 

‘Nah, it’s cool.  Just someone else answered his phone.’

 

‘I’m sure he’s being faithful.  I mean, you are his first openly confirmed boyfriend, right?’

 

‘Not exactly,’ I mutter, grabbing a can of Diet Coke and mentally cursing Matt.

 

‘Oh.’

 

It’s like torture after that.  When he finally does call back, I’m busy working on guitar stuff and can’t answer it.  He calls a second time while Zack and I are outside playing baseball, so my phone’s inside.  The second time he leaves a message,

 

‘Hey, Brian, it’s Criss.  Well, I tried calling you back, but you didn’t answer, _obviously_ , but I was just wondering if we were still on for tonight.  Call me back, okay?  I’m not shooting for the rest of the day, I don’t think.’

 

And that’s it.  I do call him back, Zack does come over, and the second date isn’t as productive as the first.  It’s more awkward parting and there’s no kiss on the cheek.  What’s worse, we don’t talk at all the next day.  The guys are sympathetic, but I turn to Zack for the truth and he tells me to start giving up a little.  So, I do.  We don’t talk for about three days.

 

I’m just pulling up in my driveway when I notice my door is open and my dog is sniffing around outside.  I quickly shut off my Corvette before slowly approaching my house, starting to wish I carried my gun with me in my car.

 

‘It’s okay, it’s just me,’ his familiar voice coos and I relax instantly, heading into the house more comfortably.

 

He’s sitting on my couch cross-legged with Gabriel in his lap and Jeremiah curled around the back of his neck.

 

‘Hey,’ I greet, and the awkwardness returns.

 

‘I’m sorry I haven’t called you.  I… I wasn’t sure,’ he admits, not looking over at me.  I’m still standing in the doorway.

 

‘Brian,’ he sighs, carefully laying the kittens on the couch and getting up, ‘Brian, I’m so sorry.’

 

He reaches me and sighs again, shaking his head as he reaches forward and laces our hands.  A shock runs through me, and the hairs on my arms rise.

 

‘I honestly really like you—’

 

‘But not like that,’ I conclude, nodding and trying to take my hands back.

 

‘No,’ he hisses, tightening his grip, ‘I don’t know how to do any of this.  You do.’

 

‘That’s just it.  I _don’t_.  Matt and I never went on dates, and we were fucking before we even decided we should be an item.  We didn’t even make us known to the band until two years into it and we only just came out to the public some months ago.  I _don’t_ know how to do this and it scares me because I adore you, but I don’t know… I just… it’s hard,’ I finish lamely, looking down.

 

‘I wanna do this right.’

 

‘So do I.’

 

‘So, before I kiss you, would you be willing to be my boyfriend?’

 

I open and close my mouth a few times before nodding and Criss just laughs before smiling over at me and closing the distance between us.  It’s intimate like _that_.  All of a sudden, that first kiss confusion disappears and we mold together, mouths opening and there’s absolutely no tentativeness as we taste each other, a shiver running down my spine as he wraps his strong arms around my waist and holds me tight against him, revealing his slightly hard bulge.

 

‘Were you and Matt safe?’ he asks as we separate briefly before connecting again, my hands finding their way into his hair and tugging lightly at different strands.

 

‘Condoms everytime,’ I respond breathlessly as he pulls away, slams the door shut, and pushes me against it.

 

‘Ugh, condoms are gross,’ Criss grumbles, sneaking his way under my chin and kissing wetly at my neck.

 

‘I completely agree.  He wanted to use them because he didn’t want to chance transacting anything.’

 

‘Are you clean?’

 

I come out of my haze as he parts from my neck, cocking an eyebrow.

 

‘Yeah.  Tested before and after.  You?’

 

‘Very much so.’

 

Our mouths find one another again as I push him away and slowly lead us to the stairs.  We manage to stumble up them, kissing the entire time.  He fumbles to push open my door, and when we get inside, I stop him from getting me against the wall and moving us to the bed.

 

‘You top,’ he hisses as we fall onto the bed, I on my back.

 

I don’t even question it.  I always hated bottoming with Matt, and I can only imagine it’ll be absolute bliss to top with Criss.  We roll by his command and slowly inch our way up the bed, hands already peeling at sweaty clothes.  We part to remove our shirts before Criss sighs at the sight of my sculpted upper body, smiling as I move to his chest and start kissing at it, sucking on each nipple fairly, nibbling at his collarbone, and finally leaving wet, open-mouthed kisses all over his neck before finally returning to his mouth as he squirms beneath me and begs for me to return.

 

It’s deep and blissful and absolutely _perfect_.  He tastes unbelievably heavenly, and I forgot how good it actually feels to be like this.  Matt always took it away because he became so rough and demanding, not to mention he was normally drunk.

 

Before long, I can feel his hands at my belt, slowly undoing it.  I smile slightly, but fail to bite back a small moan as his cold hand dives into the confines of my boxers and slowly strokes my hard cock.  He emits a small whimper as I rock my hips into his hand, lifting my mouth away from his and letting my eyes roll into the back of my head.

 

‘Stop,’ I hiss after a few seconds before reluctantly pulling his hand out and kissing his palm.

 

‘Leave that to me,’ I gasp, nuzzling my nose against the smooth skin of his hand before kissing down the heel onto his wrist and traveling over his arm, stopping at his shoulder to bite lightly at it.

 

‘Brian, I have to tell you something,’ he whispers as I quickly rid us of our shoes and socks before beginning the grinding of hips agonizingly.

 

‘Go ahead,’ I encourage before sliding down his sweaty body and sitting on his shins.

 

‘I’ve honestly never bottomed.’

 

‘Really?’

 

‘I’ve topped a grand total of, like, four times, but that’s it.  Boyfriends don’t like to be hidden,’ he adds, shrugging.

 

‘I’ll go easy,’ I assure before dragging my tongue up the denim covering his crotch.

 

His back arches a little, so I continue the movement, grinning as he practically writhes under my touch.  I finally pull the zipper down with my teeth, pop open his button, and start kissing at his waist as I peel off his jeans.

 

‘And you know what you’re doing?’

 

‘Matt might be strong, but if he’s refused sex because of positioning, he’d let me top.  And, trust me, I hated bottoming.’

 

‘Okay.’

 

I look up at him to find him staring nervously down at me and I frown, sitting up.

 

‘I can bottom if you want,’ I offer, refraining from biting my lip in unwillingness.

 

‘No, I want it this way.’

 

‘Don’t worry.  I’ll be as gentle as I can,’ I murmur, leaning up to kiss him lightly before returning to his boxers and smiling.

 

He just nods, so I pull off his silky shorts, grinning at his size before slowly pulling my tongue up his length.

 

‘You like that?’ I tease as he grabs fistfuls of the sheets and arches his back a little.

 

I take the tip in my mouth and suck at his head, he moaning loudly and moving his hips a little.  I merely smirk before relaxing my throat and taking him in fully.  I use one hand to steady his hips and the other to balance myself as I slowly move my mouth around him, lapping my tongue over his slit and around him.  His hands are tangled in my short black hair, tugging at it lightly.

 

I finally pull back as I taste the salty precum before lapping it up with my tongue and then returning to his lips.

 

‘Give me one second, okay?’ I murmur against his mouth, smiling as he nods.

 

I roll off him and head into my bathroom, laughing softly as he sighs.  After grabbing the lube, I reenter my room, stifling a moan at the sight of him lying completely exposed on my bed, legs slightly bent and eyes closed.  I quickly rid myself of my jeans and boxers before pushing his knees into a full bend and kissing him lightly.

 

‘You have to relax,’ I say as I coax my fingers in lube.

 

He just nods, so I run the pad of my finger over his entrance, he taking in a shaky breath.  I offer him my clean hand and he quickly grabs it, intertwining our hands.

 

‘Take a deep breath,’ I murmur before slowly pushing a finger inside, he letting out a small whimper and squeezing my hand.

 

‘Just relax.’

 

I continue on with the sweet talk while I curl one finger around and I move to the side as his left leg jumps a little at the intrusion of the second finger.  We make it to three before he fails to hide a small shriek, squeezing his eyes tightly shut and biting his lip.  I wait until he’s nice and loose before pulling my fingers out and wiping them on the sheets.

 

‘I’m not going to lie, this is going to suck big time, and I’ll stop if it hurts too much,’ I say as I coat my dick in lube.

 

‘I figured as much,’ he says nervously, still staring intently at me.

 

I lean up to kiss him, lining myself up at his entrance.

 

‘Just breathe,’ I whisper against his lips, slowly moving inside him.

 

It’s slow and painful and he looks like he’s in absolute agony and I feel so bad because I remember having to put on a brave front for Matt the first time and totally hating his guts for making me go through with it.  But, thankfully, Criss is the forgiving type and takes a deep, shaky breath, holding my hands tightly and adjusting himself to me as I get in fully.

 

‘You alright?’ I query, feeling horrible.

 

‘Fine,’ he hisses, looking up at me, ‘Just really fucking hurts.’

 

‘Yeah.  I know.  I’m sorry.’

 

‘Good hurt,’ he mumbles, closing his eyes again.

 

And, after he’s relaxed and everything’s all good with the world again, it’s the greatest fucking first time ever.  It’s all groping and screaming and moaning, and it’s just so right and so _beautiful_.


	6. Chapter 6

Criss and I made it through a lot, truth be told.  Sure, we had our fair share of fights and break-ups, the fights seeming to happen _quite_ often, but most of them were little and we only broke up twice.  We stayed mad at each other for a good three months one time, but the other was only a few days before we were trying it out again.

 

His family accepted me instantly, and I was soon hanging out on set and, eventually, I could be found in quite a few episodes just chilling.  Ultimately, I was like JD and Costa when they would say things during the show about him.  I was only as frequent as his mum, though.

 

The public loved us and thought we were just about the cutest thing ever.  People started listening to Avenged Sevenfold more and more because of the relationship and we got shitloads of new fans so that we were starting to _really_ fill _huge_ ass places.  It was awesome.  Criss even started using our music sometimes on his show.

 

He came to shows as much as he could, but touring was hard on us.  He didn’t like the idea of me going away for almost a year at a time and he even tried doing his show on the road once, but that didn’t work out so well.  We worked long distance for tours and just called each other a lot.

 

It’s been four years since we met and we still go on dates and such all the time.  Whenever we’re at my house, out to dinner, or at the studio, though, there’s never any cameras.  It just doesn’t feel right.  So, now, as we’re sitting outside in my front lawn on beach chairs with beers and people watching, it’s totally just _us_.

 

‘Hey,’ Criss says suddenly, giving my hand a little squeeze.

 

‘Mhm?’

 

‘I love you.’

 

I look over at him, smiling, before I lean over and peck him lightly on the lips, ‘I love you, too.’

 

And that’s how we are.  We just hang out all the time, sometimes silent, sometimes laughing, and sometimes intimately.  It’s amazing, honestly…


End file.
